9.2.16

"Bobo!" I heard as one of them hit me twice. The way that word gets thrown around, I can't tell if it's friendly or derogatory. It doesn't matter. I was trying to be asleep. Do you not understand what that implies?! People are just plain stupid. That's why all the other animals hate us. We think we are so special because we can talk. And sometimes that's all we do. See, the real gift is thinking. The gift we never seem to want to use. Unfortunate. I'm texting her. Usually it helps the mood but for now, no luck. Someone just made light of the fact that I look annoyed. I hung him upside down, flayed his skin over a period of 3 days, tossed him in sugar and let ants on him. He begged me to kill him. I didn't. I hear a laugh, he's still here. I need a happier imagination. I also need therapy but my parents don't believe in that. I don't know how I survive them. But I love them and maybe love is surviving people.

I was supposed to write about something. I never got to it. Apparently my mind is at war and all I can tell is that I feel uncomfortable with everything. It's all a mess. I'd rather not be here. I feel like an intelligent baby. Nobody understands me because they won't look past the surface. Typical human nature. I don't have anywhere to be so I'll just stay here. I tried to shut it all out and listen to myself. It turns out the left side of my brain is a noisy hell hole and the right side is a quiet vacuum. I tried again, this time it's classical music and Morgan Freeman's voice listing out all the reasons I should attempt suicide but not kill myself. My roommates are talking about soccer. Arguing. Noise. Food would be great right now. Goodnight.

- Twinless Gemini